A letter released by the National Archives of Scotland from Iverness County Police Chief Constable William Fraser in August 1938 shows police believed the only step they could usefully take to protect "Nessie" from hunters was to tell people that the monster's preservation was "desirable." Which coincidentally the same line I used the time I was mugged in a 7-11 parking lot. You'd be surprised how well that line works.

Fraser went on to say that a certain Peter Kent and Miss Marion Stirling of London were determined to catch the monster, and that Kent had told local police he was having a special harpoon gun made to hunt the monster down which was his first mistake. You never tell the police about the special weapons you're making and what you are making them for.

"That there is some strange creature in Loch Ness seems now beyond doubt, but that the police have any power to protect it is very doubtful," Fraser wrote in his letter to the Under Secretary of State, Scottish Office. The Under Secretary replied in a letter, "Dear Sir, How many times do I have to tell you that I'm the guy who killed all those hookers in White Chapel 40 years ago? Don't you care? Stop me or I'll kill again!"

Fraser said he had had Kent warned of the desirability of having the creature left alone.

"...but whether my warning will have the desired affect or not remains to be seen," he added.

It apparently did since Nessie is still alive and well, kicking up mud in the face of submersibles and chomping on the occasional swimmer. But not to worry, she only dines on Scotsmen.