Nessie keeping her head down

With Nessie sightings down recently many legitimate scientists fear that she passed away peacefully in her sleep, most likely from old age. However the head of the Loch Ness monster’s fan club, Gary Campbell, has denied suggestions that the animal is dead following a credible sighting last year. “There is an embarrassment factor to seeing Nessie. The first thing people say to you is, ‘Had you had a drink?’" He went on to say, “Ten years ago we had a lot of good sightings, but in the last two or three years, they have tailed off.”

There were also a number of “more dubious” sightings over the course of 2009. These included a sonar contact witnessed 'Allo, ’Allo star Vicki Michelle and other cast members from the stage version of the popular BBC sitcom. The cast was on a pleasure (read: booze) cruise when they allegedly picked up five mysterious arch shapes on its sonar between Dores and Urquhart Castle.

The 2009 episode “Death at Loch Ness” on the documentary series MonsterQuest looked at the theory that the Loch Ness Monster might be extinct and her corpse is lying somewhere at the bottom of the lake. To prove this theory wrong, Mr Campbell hopes new witnesses might come forward. “If people start to believe this, it might start to affect tourist numbers. Whether you believe in Nessie or not, the Loch Ness Monster is one of the most important tourist attractions we have."

For the president of her fan club, Campbell certainly insists on calling her a monster a lot.
 

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