As a regular diversion from this hustle bustle, go-go, modern-day, dog-eat-dog, stab-a-hobo world I often play small games to maintain my sanity. Since I have been taught to share anything non-powdered or glazed, I am going to give you the names and rules of these games so that you can participate as well:

Anachronistic Recast:

This game is simple: You pick a person out of a crowd or in your office and decide what era and profession that person best fits.

This guy should be in colonial gear as the young, unrequited lover of Miss Goody Proctor Buckleknees.

This young lady could easily be a catty member of a royal court, with her hair did really high as she talks about what a bitch the new queen is.

And this guy, well he just belongs right on my jock is where he belongs.

Midsection Recap:

This is one of my favorite games because there are really no winners or losers, unless you own a deck of Magic the Gathering cards. Then you’re a total loser. And most likely a virgin. And you probably have backne. Anyway, all you have to do to play this game is wait until you are walking into a room, store, crowded restaurant, or subway (which is my personal favorite) and the moment you enter the facility you start talking about the worst movie you can think of as if it’s the best movie you recently saw. For example: walk on to a subway and talk as if you’re in the middle of a conversation by saying, “so the kangaroo steals the money and then the formerly fat white kid from Stand by Me and the currently fat black guy from Agent Cody Banks, another awesome movie, go chasing after him to get it back, right? Well I can assure you that hilarity ensues after that.” Another option would be to say something like, “I can’t believe the innate talent in that man. To be able to play both Norbit AND his fat wife? I can’t believe he hasn’t won an Oscar yet, especially for this movie.”

Fuck-Marry-Kill:

Simply choose three people, usually three people with something in common, and decide which one you would fuck, which one you would marry, and which one you would kill. If the three people are really reprehensible it helps to imagine that someone is holding a gun to your head and making you choose. For example if the choices are George W. Bush, John McCain, and Sarah Palin imagine that someone is holding a gun on you to make your choice easier. In that instance the obvious answer is “shoot me.”

This one's just impossible.

Bow Chiki Wow Wow:

Once again there are no winners or losers in this game, but it sure is interesting. All you have to do is pick someone at random from the crowd and imagine under what circumstances you would be having sex with them and what it would be like, whether good or bad, fast or slow, if there would be some kind of luncheon meat involved, and what their body would look like. Occasionally it’s a fun game, but more often than not it’s terrifying.